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UNITED! - England fans celebrating victory 

Dead Red 

After England booted Ukraine out of Euro 2012, Ed Miliband decided Labour only lost the last election because they let in too many peasants from Eastern Europe 'we've listened we promise not to let any more in'. Ed compared muslim immigration as a huge success 'British muslims never complain they work hard especially Somali's who contribute enormously with huge benefits for us all'. He promised the mosque in every street policy was a massive postal vote winner 'we always put you the British people first & have the support of the Police in everything we do'.

Lions Den

'we are green!'

As the British people were force fed their usual diet of lies, bullshit & betrayal from the mouths of lying cunt politicians at the billion pound Leveson Inquiry, it was left to the useless turds that are the England football team to lift the spirits of a censored nation. And as England fucked native Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic out of the Euro 2012 tournament, Manager Roy Hodgson promised more of the same for German Mesut Ozil, Frenchman Frank Ribery & any other convert who gets in their way. 

Free TV

'sick bag Sally Bercow'  

'loyal subjects' 

While Britain basked in the glory of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee, Auntie Beeb decided to fuck everyone off and chucked up toss presenters & crap comedians for the occasion. The BBC who specialise in extortion of £145.50 and broadcasting socialist shit denied they hijacked the event to promote bollocks like Lenny Henry & Miranda Hart telling viewers 'muslims love the Queen too and were at events in their swarms'.

Dead Certs

married 

separated 

Syrian President Bashar Al Assad and his fit Mrs sent messages of support this week to British shit Mick & Mairead Philpott. As Mick and his knacker struggled to produce any real tears for the loss of their litter, they thanked the Assads for the support they had shown them and the severe financial loss they were now suffering. As they were led away to their cells, Mick who is not related to fellow worthless cunt Karen Matthews updated his Facebook status and told everyone things were fine as he still had another 11 and there was nothing to stop him having any more when he got out.