Get the Drinks in

win win

David Cameron urged people not to give a toss about David Miliband by promising he won't let any more immigrants come in. "The Labour Party is swimming with cunts like him so in 2015 I will put a stop to any more of that white fucking shit getting in".

Coming Soon

The Shadow Chancellor

Ed Miliband & Ed Balls were creaming their pants at the prospect of raiding everyone's bank account to pay for Labour shit. "Cyprus has opened the door we can't believe we didn't think of it before! We have no fucking shame and thanks to that cunt Hugh Grant you can't complain".

The One Show

not the black one

This week David Cameron confirmed himself a massive cunt by promising fuck all alcohol for everyone. Closet poofs in Rome picked another one and Vicky Pryce was jailed for marrying one. Lord Ahmed proved he always was one and Eric Joyce showed the Police it takes one to know one. Finally the left-wing fucking shit are going to silence you with Leveson.

Dead Head

cancer

Hugo Chavez finally admitted to snuffing it leaving socialist shit across the globe crying the loss of chief thief. But in the UK, Ed Miliband is alive & well dreaming up new ways to fuck you. "We got it wrong on piss from pakistan & should've taxed the rich more to pay for them cunts too".

Resistance is Futile

'in the background'

The Lib Dems spent all week covering up their pervy shit and couldn't believe their luck when the inbreds of Eastleigh still voted for another lying prick. "Nick Clegg might be a massive tit but we are well & truly undeniably fucking thick".