Smash & Grab

asking for it

David Cameron took a huge bunch of lying cunts to India and dished out invitations to take over. "Britain needs your rupees! No need to come in the back of a van, you won't even have to integrate and it's all there waiting for you on a great big fuck off plate". 

The Untouchables

WANTED! 

With the Pope refusing to die in office there was no chance of any cunt losing their job in the UK as public sector shit always take the piss. But PM David Cameron denied any wrong doing by those poncing off the rest of us "Britain does not reward failure we fund all those who can get in".

Treated Like Dirt

'Bring Back Matron'

David Cameron declared the Labour Government 'not guilty' for killing over 1200 patients at Stafford NHS Hospital by socialist cunts armed with university degrees. Licking Dave's rim Ed Miliband thanked the PM "we musn't blame the nurses either as most of them don't speak any English".

Money No Object

grateful democratic Libya

As Britain edged closer to broke the liberal piss that run the country has borrowed £30billion to spend on a fucking train and even more on another wife beaters hole. David Cameron defended his plans "HS2 is needed for all the Labour voting shit up North, and by sticking our oar in Mali we get to pay for French fuck ups too".